The Dreaded "Weight" Questions

Have I mentioned that I am NOT enjoying these protein drinks? I mixed one up this morning that was actually decent, but how long am I going to think that after I drink it two or three times a day?  I am working on this tasty concoction for the second time today.  The other required protein drink was a chocolate Ensure....um, YUM! (That's me trying to convince myself that I actually enjoyed drinking it.)  Aside from the taste, it takes me a LONG time to get them down....like, an hour, easy AND once I do have it down, I feel really full and bloated.  I have to admit, I am not "getting" the whole protein drink thing.  I mean, I understand the reasoning behind it, but if I can snack on a little yogurt, cottage cheese, or cheese stick every little bit....and ENJOY it.....then why not cut back on the drinks?  I'm sure the dietician will enlighten me when I call next week to pose this question:)....I will keep you updated.

We had a big day today! Davison had three baseball games in Martinsville.  It was hot and humid, but I LOVE baseball.  Unfortunately, Davison has really been struggling, which makes sitting in the heat (drinking Ensure) much less pleasurable.  So, we get in the car to come home after the third game and Davison promptly asks,"Mom, have you lost any weight yet?" I LOVE that boy!  Nothing like cutting to the chase and my cutie pie, blue eyed, loverboy is really good at that.  My answer? "Well, yes..."  Confession time--I knew going into the hospital that people PUT ON weight while in the hospital following bariatric surgery....I know, so NOT fair!  My confession?  I am kinda sorta obsessed with the numbers on the scale.  It's awful! Especially since I gained 8 pounds while in the hospital...I know! EIGHT! So, since getting home, I have been weighing myself every morning (I had already "promised" myself I was only going to weigh once a week.....and my inner Sheila is saying "strike one, lady").  Long story short, when I weighed myself this morning, I was finally down below my "pre-surgery" weight. Yay!  Now, I am going to work on not focusing on weight by not reporting daily on my blog where I am weightwise (pretty sure that is not a word).  So, you will have to check back on Monday....one week since surgery date....to find out where I stand.  Now, that will be how many pounds I am down, not how much I weigh.

I was thinking, I have surrounded myself with really polite people, as I think I have only been asked twice how much I weigh....and one of those times was by that same little blue-eyed sweetheart:)  That is a question I am choosing not to answer right now....not sure I ever will.  I honestly don't know why.  Well, that's not true at all (and I even typed honestly!).  I am SO embarrassed by that number!  I'm sure I won't feel the same when I weigh half as much as I do now.  That's right, my goal "weight" is exactly half of my current body weight.  When I was talking about this fact with some of my dear, sweet co-workers, one of them said, "No! There won't be anything left of you!" Actually, yes, yes there will be.  If I reach that weight, I will weigh exactly ten pounds more than I did when I got married. *sigh* ***Did I mention I LOVE my work peeps?***

My dear mother and I were discussing this whole "weight" thing (she thinks I'm beautiful and doesn't think I needed to have the gastric sleeve--I love and appreciate the fact that she thinks I'm beautiful:) and she mentioned my sister's weight.....sorry, Gina, you can't escape having your weight discussed even though you are all of the way on the other side of the country.  ANYWAY, we were talking about how A-Mazing she looks and Mom reminded me that I thought I was "fat" at that same weight....and we are about the same height.  I did.....what a dummy!  You do look A-Mazing, G, really, I'm jealous:)

This is where my obsession with the "weight" in numbers has always been my nemesis.  I can clearly remember weighin 120 pounds (sniff, sniff) in high school and being SO EMBARRASSED becaused my friends and teammates weighed 80, 90, 100 pounds.  I am going to continue to work on focusing on health and best "weight" for me.  (Okay...."shut-up Sheila", knit me together in my mother's womb, "I can do all things through Christ who strenthens me."--Phillipians 4:13) It is going to be a battle, but part of my journey, nonetheless.

At the end of the day, my God knows when I stand up, and when I sit down, when I fail, when I succeed. He loves me inspite of myself and because of nothing I have done or didn't do. *goosies* THAT is an awesome feeling and should be all the motivation I need.

Peace,
Krista