Davison and I decided to take a "mini vacation" before heading back to work and school next week. We came down to Vincennes on Saturday and have been staying at my Dad's. I am relaxing by the pool, taking naps, visiting family, and working really hard at my new "lifestyle." Davison.....well, Davison doesn't really relax, BUT he is having a great time and has been to the Knox County Fair, spent an afternoon with Dennis' dad, visited with cousins, and has done a lot of swimming. All that being said, I did not weigh in yesterday. I want to only weigh on my scale at home for consistency. This little break away from the scale has been really good for me as I was really becoming obsessed with weighing myself. I did weigh Saturday morning before I left and had lost 20 pounds. Here's hoping to something really impressive when I step on that scale next Monday!
While I have been happy with the results since my surgery, it has not been easy. It is so weird to sit in a group of people that are chowing down on yummy food and I'm taking tiny bites of my two ounces of cottage cheese. I am starting to get back some of my "tastes" for food and so I have to be a little more deliberate about what I'm doing/not doing! There have been times, while at home, that I have just left the house to take a walk while my guys are eating dinner. My go to playlist for those moments has been an album by Jars of Clay that they released in 2005. It's an awesome album of remakes of hymns that I remember from going to church with my Grandma Alice when I was little. There is one song that has really spoken to be in those moments when I'm feeling frustrated, etc., etc.:) "I Need Thee Every Hour".......
There are times right now that I am thinking, I need Thee every minute! The line "Temptations lose their power when thou art nigh" (nigh=near) really rings true in those earphones when I'm walking the streets of Camby at night while my boys are gathered around the dinner table. There have been other times in my life when I have definitely felt this way and was reminded of that yesterday as July 30, 2012 marked twelve years since the loss of our precious Benjamin. I know for a fact that I was carried through that time and I will always and forever be thankful for the many blessings and the amount of growing that came from that terrible experience.
In scripture, it talks about us being molded like clay by the Father's hands.....hence the name of the group "Jars of Clay." I know that I have been molded, and molded, and molded over the years. See, that's the idea....this process never ends, but we have to be willing to give it all up and let Him do His work. It's not easy, remember....He never promised us a rose garden....but, it is worth it! I am so looking forward to looking back in a year to see how I have been molded on the outside AND the inside....I don't believe one can be done without the other.
Off to finish my Carbmaster yogurt and hit the pool!
Peace,
K
Tuesday, July 31, 2012
Friday, July 27, 2012
Yeah Baby!
As I delve into my day, I am once again reminded of this...."I am fearfully and wonderfully made...." in the image of Christ. LOVE!! I'm up, enjoyed my breakfast of cottage cheese and baby food fruit, cooked omlets for the boys, and took a walk. I sat down to check email, etc. and headed to Pinterest for the first time in a couple of months, I think. Did you know there is a TON of food on Pinterest?? LOL:) Fortunately, none of it looks particularly good to me.....I hope this effect of surgery doesn't go away for a long, long time. Anyway, that is where I spotted this cutie pie photo. Now off to pick the house up a bit in anticipation of a visit from Angie and her girls. YAY!! Cannot wait to spend some time with them. Have an awesome day!
Peace,
Krista
Thursday, July 26, 2012
I Beg Your Pardon....I Never Promised You a Rose Garden
I saw this pic on Facebook and just had to share it! It reminded me of my very first blog entry here and is, of course, an ongoing "issue" for me.....and I've been told, many of you:) Let's all write this little note to ourselves in a place where we can see it often.
It's been a crazy few days and my head has been SPINNING!! A dear sweet friend and co-worker found out earlier this week that she has breast cancer. Katie is young, smart, and beautiful! She is our official game show host on our annual Culver Girls' Trip and always up to be in on a good joke at work. I got to have tea (decaffeinated and sugar-free, of course:) with her this morning. She is, of course, shocked, but seems to be thinking logically about things and relying on family, friends, and faith. Please keep Katie in your prayers as she travels this new journey that she is unexpectedly travelling. Love you, KT!!
Yesterday, my friend, Fonda came down to Camby for a visit. She packed a lovely picnic lunch and snacks and we headed to the pool with Davison and his buddy Collin. You would have thought I pumped Davison full of caffeine and sugar before Fonda arrived...he was wound up!! I do believe the crush he has had on Fonda from an early age continues on:) It was great catching up with my 'soul sister' and having some time on a hot day to hang out in the cool water. BTW, Fonda Lou, my incisions look just fine today....wink, wink:)
I am doing better with my protein drinks.....don't get me wrong, I still have a moment of dread before I mix one up and start the arduous process of getting it down my gullet, but I have found a couple of things that are working better for me, for now. For one thing, I am mixing the protein "mix" or whey powder in twelve ounces of milk rather than eight AND, last night, a friend who had the same surgery one year ago gave me some new protein mixes to try. I have tried the vanilla and it doesn't seem to be quite as sweet as the french vanilla whey powder. As I mentioned, Heather had the same surgery a year ago. She had just had her one year "check-up" and it was all great news! She looks AND FEELS great! It was so helpful and encouraging to talk to her last night, to get some tips, and to just have somebody express that she understands my feelings. Thanks, Heather! I am quite sure we will have many more conversations in the weeks, months, and years to come:)
I almost titled this blog entry, "Excuse Me Duke, I Usually Puke"....sorry to those with weak stomachs......Anyway, I don't think I have belched as month in my entire life as I have this last two weeks. That tiny tummy fills up fast and leads to burping (I'll try to "pretty it up" for you:) and if I drink anything....even water too fast....here it comes, oh, excuse me! I find myself drinking those protein drinks (are you tired of hearing about them yet?) too fast and I think it's just because I want it over with. The most frustrating by far is water. I am a water lover and drink about 100 ounces a day, normally. I just want so badly to tip that Nalgene bottle back and chug!! But, you guessed it, anything more than a sip of water and it's like belch-a-palooza. I'm just going to apologize to you all right now for any noises that may leave my body when we are together.
Do you remember the old country song, "I Never Promised You a Rose Garden?" Funny, it came to mind today as I was thinking about Katie, another co-worker whose husband is battling cancer, my own life experiences, and many, many other friends, co-workers, and family members who have or have had recent personal battles. Here are the Lyrics:
I beg your pardon,
I never promised you a rose garden.
Along with the sunshine,
There's gotta be a little rain sometimes.
When you take, you gotta give, so live and let live,
Or let go.
I beg your pardon,
I never promised you a rose garden.
I could promise you things like big diamond rings,
But you don't find roses growin' on stalks of clover.
So you better think it over.
Well, if sweet-talkin' you could make it come true,
I would give you the world right now on a silver platter,
But what would it matter?
So smile for a while and let's be jolly:
Love shouldn't be so melancholy.
Come along and share the good times while we can.
I beg your pardon,
I never promised you a rose garden.
Along with the sunshine,
There's gotta be a little rain sometimes.
I beg your pardon,
I never promised you a rose garden.
I could sing you a tune or promise you the moon,
But if that's what it takes to hold you,
I'd just as soon let you go, but there's one thing I want you to know.
You better look before you leap, still waters run deep,
And there won't always be someone there to pull you out,
And you know what I'm talkin' about.
So smile for a while and let's be jolly:
Love shouldn't be so melancholy.
Come along and share the good times while we can.
I beg your pardon,
I never promised you a rose garden.
Along with the sunshine,
There's gotta be a little rain sometimes.
I never promised you a rose garden.
Along with the sunshine,
There's gotta be a little rain sometimes.
When you take, you gotta give, so live and let live,
Or let go.
I beg your pardon,
I never promised you a rose garden.
I could promise you things like big diamond rings,
But you don't find roses growin' on stalks of clover.
So you better think it over.
Well, if sweet-talkin' you could make it come true,
I would give you the world right now on a silver platter,
But what would it matter?
So smile for a while and let's be jolly:
Love shouldn't be so melancholy.
Come along and share the good times while we can.
I beg your pardon,
I never promised you a rose garden.
Along with the sunshine,
There's gotta be a little rain sometimes.
I beg your pardon,
I never promised you a rose garden.
I could sing you a tune or promise you the moon,
But if that's what it takes to hold you,
I'd just as soon let you go, but there's one thing I want you to know.
You better look before you leap, still waters run deep,
And there won't always be someone there to pull you out,
And you know what I'm talkin' about.
So smile for a while and let's be jolly:
Love shouldn't be so melancholy.
Come along and share the good times while we can.
I beg your pardon,
I never promised you a rose garden.
Along with the sunshine,
There's gotta be a little rain sometimes.
Definitely hokey, but when I think about God's promises to us, this song rings true!! He never promised us a rose garden, a life on earth free from trials or pain. He does promise us a reward for drawing nearer to Him when trials come, for stepping up and stepping out and relying on Him and all He has promised. I LOVE the book of Romans, so it is no surprise that I found the scripture I was searching for when thinking about all of this there.
Romans 8
There is therefore now no condemnation to those who are in Christ Jesus,[a] who do not walk according to the flesh, but according to the Spirit. 2 For the law of the Spirit of life in Christ Jesus has made me free from the law of sin and death. 3 For what the law could not do in that it was weak through the flesh, God did by sending His own Son in the likeness of sinful flesh, on account of sin: He condemned sin in the flesh, 4 that the righteous requirement of the law might be fulfilled in us who do not walk according to the flesh but according to the Spirit. 5 For those who live according to the flesh set their minds on the things of the flesh, but those who live according to the Spirit, the things of the Spirit. 6 For to be carnally minded is death, but to be spiritually minded is life and peace. 7 Because the carnal mind is enmity against God; for it is not subject to the law of God, nor indeed can be. 8 So then, those who are in the flesh cannot please God.
12 Therefore, brethren, we are debtors—not to the flesh, to live according to the flesh. 13 For if you live according to the flesh you will die; but if by the Spirit you put to death the deeds of the body, you will live. 14 For as many as are led by the Spirit of God, these are sons of God. 15 For you did not receive the spirit of bondage again to fear, but you received the Spirit of adoption by whom we cry out, “Abba, Father.” 16 The Spirit Himself bears witness with our spirit that we are children of God, 17 and if children, then heirs—heirs of God and joint heirs with Christ, if indeed we suffer with Him, that we may also be glorified together.
18 For I consider that the sufferings of this present time are not worthy to be compared with the glory which shall be revealed in us. 19 For the earnest expectation of the creation eagerly waits for the revealing of the sons of God. 20 For the creation was subjected to futility, not willingly, but because of Him who subjected it in hope; 21 because the creation itself also will be delivered from the bondage of corruption into the glorious liberty of the children of God. 22 For we know that the whole creation groans and labors with birth pangs together until now. 23 Not only that, but we also who have the firstfruits of the Spirit, even we ourselves groan within ourselves, eagerly waiting for the adoption, the redemption of our body. 24 For we were saved in this hope, but hope that is seen is not hope; for why does one still hope for what he sees? 25 But if we hope for what we do not see, we eagerly wait for it with perseverance.
26 Likewise the Spirit also helps in our weaknesses. For we do not know what we should pray for as we ought, but the Spirit Himself makes intercession for us[b] with groanings which cannot be uttered. 27 Now He who searches the hearts knows what the mind of the Spirit is, because He makes intercession for the saints according to the will of God.
28 And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are the called according to His purpose. 29 For whom He foreknew, He also predestined to be conformed to the image of His Son, that He might be the firstborn among many brethren. 30 Moreover whom He predestined, these He also called; whom He called, these He also justified; and whom He justified, these He also glorified.
I remember relying heavily on Romans 8:26-27 after we lost our second son, Benjamin during pregnancy. I was lost.....literally. Depressed. I had no idea what to do with that pain, what to ask for, pray for. The Holy Spirit definitely interceded during that time.
Romans 8:28....what can I say. Today alone I have heard a number of times, "Everything happens for a reason." We may not get to know those reasons here on earth, but we can rest in knowing that, if we are walking with Christ, He will make "good" out of even the worst situations.
Peace,
K
Monday, July 23, 2012
Weigh In Day
I ended the day yesterday feeling like the worst mom ever! Davison was playing in a baseball tourney in Martinsville and, as I mentioned previously, he's really been struggling with baseball. I went to church yesterday morning and headed down for the second game of the day, which ended up started shortly after 1230. At one point in the day, Davison and I had a heart to heart about his attitude, which had gotten pretty bad. At the end of the third game, I brought Austin home so he could go play soccer and I settled in on the couch. A bit later, my mom called to tell me Davison had hit a home run!! His first one and in one of the worst batting slumps I have ever witnessed!! Needless to say, it made me really teary and I felt guilty for not being there. (Side note--Dave got a little trophy of a glove to sit his homerun ball in--he hasn't gone anywhere without it since he brought it home....not even the bathroom! Too cute!:)
All in all, yesterday was a good day, but have to admit that the heat zapped me pretty good, which was one of the things that led me to come home early from the baseball tourney. Anyway, I went to church, then the tourney, mixed in a couple of short walks, and visited with a neighbor who had back surgery last week. I also discovered a more tolerable protein shake. It's a vanilla whey powder that I mixed with 8 ounces of milk. Not bad and significantly smaller in size than some of the other protein shakes/drinks. On Saturday, I was reading through my diet guidelines again and discovered I can have cheese, cottage cheese, and yogurt. YAY!! Cheese sticks have never tasted so amazing!:) So, as a result, between the new protein drinks, cheese sticks, cottage cheese, and sugar free popsicles, I had a much easier time getting in all of my required foods and dliquids yesterday. Starting to get the hang of this thing.....
As I confessed previously, I have found myself becoming obsessed with the scale. I'm so frustrated by it, but haven't yet found a way to kick it. I honestly think it's that whole "fear of failure" thing that's driving me. I am really striving to only weigh on Monday mornings, but the last couple of days I have been on the scale multiple times. I think weighing once a week is a reasonable goal and it is now one more thing that I am asking God to help me....I really have some areas where I struggle with self-control....make me a better me, Lord....
Okay, so it's Monday and I have weighed. I am officially down sixteen pounds from my pre-surgery weight. WOOHOO!! I am so thankful and encouraged. Makes eating an ounce of cottage cheese and an ounce of babyfood pears for breakfast a little more worth it:)
Thanks everybody for your support and encouragement!!
Peace,
K
All in all, yesterday was a good day, but have to admit that the heat zapped me pretty good, which was one of the things that led me to come home early from the baseball tourney. Anyway, I went to church, then the tourney, mixed in a couple of short walks, and visited with a neighbor who had back surgery last week. I also discovered a more tolerable protein shake. It's a vanilla whey powder that I mixed with 8 ounces of milk. Not bad and significantly smaller in size than some of the other protein shakes/drinks. On Saturday, I was reading through my diet guidelines again and discovered I can have cheese, cottage cheese, and yogurt. YAY!! Cheese sticks have never tasted so amazing!:) So, as a result, between the new protein drinks, cheese sticks, cottage cheese, and sugar free popsicles, I had a much easier time getting in all of my required foods and dliquids yesterday. Starting to get the hang of this thing.....
As I confessed previously, I have found myself becoming obsessed with the scale. I'm so frustrated by it, but haven't yet found a way to kick it. I honestly think it's that whole "fear of failure" thing that's driving me. I am really striving to only weigh on Monday mornings, but the last couple of days I have been on the scale multiple times. I think weighing once a week is a reasonable goal and it is now one more thing that I am asking God to help me....I really have some areas where I struggle with self-control....make me a better me, Lord....
Okay, so it's Monday and I have weighed. I am officially down sixteen pounds from my pre-surgery weight. WOOHOO!! I am so thankful and encouraged. Makes eating an ounce of cottage cheese and an ounce of babyfood pears for breakfast a little more worth it:)
Thanks everybody for your support and encouragement!!
Peace,
K
Saturday, July 21, 2012
The Dreaded "Weight" Questions
Have I mentioned that I am NOT enjoying these protein drinks? I mixed one up this morning that was actually decent, but how long am I going to think that after I drink it two or three times a day? I am working on this tasty concoction for the second time today. The other required protein drink was a chocolate Ensure....um, YUM! (That's me trying to convince myself that I actually enjoyed drinking it.) Aside from the taste, it takes me a LONG time to get them down....like, an hour, easy AND once I do have it down, I feel really full and bloated. I have to admit, I am not "getting" the whole protein drink thing. I mean, I understand the reasoning behind it, but if I can snack on a little yogurt, cottage cheese, or cheese stick every little bit....and ENJOY it.....then why not cut back on the drinks? I'm sure the dietician will enlighten me when I call next week to pose this question:)....I will keep you updated.
We had a big day today! Davison had three baseball games in Martinsville. It was hot and humid, but I LOVE baseball. Unfortunately, Davison has really been struggling, which makes sitting in the heat (drinking Ensure) much less pleasurable. So, we get in the car to come home after the third game and Davison promptly asks,"Mom, have you lost any weight yet?" I LOVE that boy! Nothing like cutting to the chase and my cutie pie, blue eyed, loverboy is really good at that. My answer? "Well, yes..." Confession time--I knew going into the hospital that people PUT ON weight while in the hospital following bariatric surgery....I know, so NOT fair! My confession? I am kinda sorta obsessed with the numbers on the scale. It's awful! Especially since I gained 8 pounds while in the hospital...I know! EIGHT! So, since getting home, I have been weighing myself every morning (I had already "promised" myself I was only going to weigh once a week.....and my inner Sheila is saying "strike one, lady"). Long story short, when I weighed myself this morning, I was finally down below my "pre-surgery" weight. Yay! Now, I am going to work on not focusing on weight by not reporting daily on my blog where I am weightwise (pretty sure that is not a word). So, you will have to check back on Monday....one week since surgery date....to find out where I stand. Now, that will be how many pounds I am down, not how much I weigh.
I was thinking, I have surrounded myself with really polite people, as I think I have only been asked twice how much I weigh....and one of those times was by that same little blue-eyed sweetheart:) That is a question I am choosing not to answer right now....not sure I ever will. I honestly don't know why. Well, that's not true at all (and I even typed honestly!). I am SO embarrassed by that number! I'm sure I won't feel the same when I weigh half as much as I do now. That's right, my goal "weight" is exactly half of my current body weight. When I was talking about this fact with some of my dear, sweet co-workers, one of them said, "No! There won't be anything left of you!" Actually, yes, yes there will be. If I reach that weight, I will weigh exactly ten pounds more than I did when I got married. *sigh* ***Did I mention I LOVE my work peeps?***
My dear mother and I were discussing this whole "weight" thing (she thinks I'm beautiful and doesn't think I needed to have the gastric sleeve--I love and appreciate the fact that she thinks I'm beautiful:) and she mentioned my sister's weight.....sorry, Gina, you can't escape having your weight discussed even though you are all of the way on the other side of the country. ANYWAY, we were talking about how A-Mazing she looks and Mom reminded me that I thought I was "fat" at that same weight....and we are about the same height. I did.....what a dummy! You do look A-Mazing, G, really, I'm jealous:)
This is where my obsession with the "weight" in numbers has always been my nemesis. I can clearly remember weighin 120 pounds (sniff, sniff) in high school and being SO EMBARRASSED becaused my friends and teammates weighed 80, 90, 100 pounds. I am going to continue to work on focusing on health and best "weight" for me. (Okay...."shut-up Sheila", knit me together in my mother's womb, "I can do all things through Christ who strenthens me."--Phillipians 4:13) It is going to be a battle, but part of my journey, nonetheless.
At the end of the day, my God knows when I stand up, and when I sit down, when I fail, when I succeed. He loves me inspite of myself and because of nothing I have done or didn't do. *goosies* THAT is an awesome feeling and should be all the motivation I need.
Peace,
Krista
We had a big day today! Davison had three baseball games in Martinsville. It was hot and humid, but I LOVE baseball. Unfortunately, Davison has really been struggling, which makes sitting in the heat (drinking Ensure) much less pleasurable. So, we get in the car to come home after the third game and Davison promptly asks,"Mom, have you lost any weight yet?" I LOVE that boy! Nothing like cutting to the chase and my cutie pie, blue eyed, loverboy is really good at that. My answer? "Well, yes..." Confession time--I knew going into the hospital that people PUT ON weight while in the hospital following bariatric surgery....I know, so NOT fair! My confession? I am kinda sorta obsessed with the numbers on the scale. It's awful! Especially since I gained 8 pounds while in the hospital...I know! EIGHT! So, since getting home, I have been weighing myself every morning (I had already "promised" myself I was only going to weigh once a week.....and my inner Sheila is saying "strike one, lady"). Long story short, when I weighed myself this morning, I was finally down below my "pre-surgery" weight. Yay! Now, I am going to work on not focusing on weight by not reporting daily on my blog where I am weightwise (pretty sure that is not a word). So, you will have to check back on Monday....one week since surgery date....to find out where I stand. Now, that will be how many pounds I am down, not how much I weigh.
I was thinking, I have surrounded myself with really polite people, as I think I have only been asked twice how much I weigh....and one of those times was by that same little blue-eyed sweetheart:) That is a question I am choosing not to answer right now....not sure I ever will. I honestly don't know why. Well, that's not true at all (and I even typed honestly!). I am SO embarrassed by that number! I'm sure I won't feel the same when I weigh half as much as I do now. That's right, my goal "weight" is exactly half of my current body weight. When I was talking about this fact with some of my dear, sweet co-workers, one of them said, "No! There won't be anything left of you!" Actually, yes, yes there will be. If I reach that weight, I will weigh exactly ten pounds more than I did when I got married. *sigh* ***Did I mention I LOVE my work peeps?***
My dear mother and I were discussing this whole "weight" thing (she thinks I'm beautiful and doesn't think I needed to have the gastric sleeve--I love and appreciate the fact that she thinks I'm beautiful:) and she mentioned my sister's weight.....sorry, Gina, you can't escape having your weight discussed even though you are all of the way on the other side of the country. ANYWAY, we were talking about how A-Mazing she looks and Mom reminded me that I thought I was "fat" at that same weight....and we are about the same height. I did.....what a dummy! You do look A-Mazing, G, really, I'm jealous:)
This is where my obsession with the "weight" in numbers has always been my nemesis. I can clearly remember weighin 120 pounds (sniff, sniff) in high school and being SO EMBARRASSED becaused my friends and teammates weighed 80, 90, 100 pounds. I am going to continue to work on focusing on health and best "weight" for me. (Okay...."shut-up Sheila", knit me together in my mother's womb, "I can do all things through Christ who strenthens me."--Phillipians 4:13) It is going to be a battle, but part of my journey, nonetheless.
At the end of the day, my God knows when I stand up, and when I sit down, when I fail, when I succeed. He loves me inspite of myself and because of nothing I have done or didn't do. *goosies* THAT is an awesome feeling and should be all the motivation I need.
Peace,
Krista
Friday, July 20, 2012
Radio Disney
I'm just going to tell you right now that there will not be a repeat on the last night's protein drink. That drink consisted of milk, dry milk, a banana, and some sugar free strawberry syrup. Just typing it now...I think I threw up in my mouth a little. Right now, I am sipping on my second try at a protein drink. This one is much better, consisting of milk, dry milk, half a banana, a handful of frozen strawberries, and a squirt of sugar free strawberry syrup. It is pretty tasty....although the dry milk really froths up in the blender and I don't enjoy that texture....but, it turned out kind of huge, so I'm not sure how long it will take me to get it down. Whenever I take more than a sip, it feels like I swallowed a rock when it hits my stomach, so I definitely have to take it slow. Drinking this protein drink is really putting a damper on the nap I had in my plans.
I slept pretty well last night, all things considered. I have this crazy headache that I just can't shake for some reason. That, on top of trying to stay comfortable and the fact that Dennis had Radio Disney BLARING from his radio alarm clock all night long, created pockets of sleep sandwiched between periods of being wide awake. I am now familiar with the new "duet" with Taylor Swift and B-O-B.....I guess one has to stay up on the new hits somehow....thanks for helping me out in this area, Den!
While up in the night, I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror....I was looking pretty hot in my black knee length gown and my white TED hose. I hope the neighbors weren't peeking in the front window to catch a glimpse at that lovely sight! Yes, I'm wearing the TED hose even though I'm up quite a bit and taking walks (the boys and I walked about a mile this morning). I really feel like there was some "TED hose controversy" (aka: Research) that showed them to be ineffective, maybe even detrimental. Can anyone help me out on this?
Baby food bananas and sugar free vanilla pudding was what was for breakfast.....I guess it's lunchtime, but I'm still working on this yummy protein drink....I'm starting to get the feeling it might be difficult to get all of this "food" in, especially when I go back to work.
Have a great Friday!
Peace,
K
I slept pretty well last night, all things considered. I have this crazy headache that I just can't shake for some reason. That, on top of trying to stay comfortable and the fact that Dennis had Radio Disney BLARING from his radio alarm clock all night long, created pockets of sleep sandwiched between periods of being wide awake. I am now familiar with the new "duet" with Taylor Swift and B-O-B.....I guess one has to stay up on the new hits somehow....thanks for helping me out in this area, Den!
While up in the night, I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror....I was looking pretty hot in my black knee length gown and my white TED hose. I hope the neighbors weren't peeking in the front window to catch a glimpse at that lovely sight! Yes, I'm wearing the TED hose even though I'm up quite a bit and taking walks (the boys and I walked about a mile this morning). I really feel like there was some "TED hose controversy" (aka: Research) that showed them to be ineffective, maybe even detrimental. Can anyone help me out on this?
Baby food bananas and sugar free vanilla pudding was what was for breakfast.....I guess it's lunchtime, but I'm still working on this yummy protein drink....I'm starting to get the feeling it might be difficult to get all of this "food" in, especially when I go back to work.
Have a great Friday!
Peace,
K
Thursday, July 19, 2012
We Like to Move it, Move it!!
Just as I had hoped, I am writing this blog entry from the comfort of my couch...minus the IV and TED hose--although I should be wearing the TED hose per my discharge instructions...they're in the dryer:) The drive home was uneventful and I was happy to see the boys!! I was also happy to enjoy two ounces of sugar free vanilla pudding when we arrived back at the house. It was delicious!:) I am now waiting on Dennis and Davison to get home from Meijer with all of my meds and some bananas. I am looking forward to making my first protein shake--milk, dry milk, banana, and sugar free strawberry syrup. I am supposed to have 75 to 90 grams of protein a day, so I'll be making a lot of protein shakes in the days and weeks to come. I'll keep you posted on how my concoctions turn out.
At the hospital, I was supposed to get up and walk every two hours. One trip around the unit was 1/16th of a mile. I have to admit that I didn't exactly get up to walk every two hours, BUT, I did finish off five miles of walking before heading home today. I'm supposed to continue to walk eight to ten times a day at home....I had Dennis drop me off behind the house when we got in the neighborhood for my first walk. It felt good--a bit more stuffy/hot than the lovely walking track at St. Vincent Carmel, but it's always good to be home!
Peace,
K
At the hospital, I was supposed to get up and walk every two hours. One trip around the unit was 1/16th of a mile. I have to admit that I didn't exactly get up to walk every two hours, BUT, I did finish off five miles of walking before heading home today. I'm supposed to continue to walk eight to ten times a day at home....I had Dennis drop me off behind the house when we got in the neighborhood for my first walk. It felt good--a bit more stuffy/hot than the lovely walking track at St. Vincent Carmel, but it's always good to be home!
Peace,
K
It's a Good, Good Morning!
I love that Mandisa song, "It's a good, good morning! Wake up to a brand new day!" I am so thankful today that I woke up feeling SO much better! I picked up this computer a couple of times yesterday afternoon to give an update, but, honestly....I was feeling yucky and a wee bit discouraged. I was fighting nausea BIG TIME and was starting to question the whole thing. Oh, the drama....I came prepared though, knowing that nausea was a complication of the gastric sleeve procedure and if ever I'm a baby, it's when I'm nauseated! I really didn't "eat" or drink much yesterday....didn't even take my pain medicine because it was in liquid form and I couldn't bare the thought of putting anything else in my itty bitty, raging mad tummy! Thank God my pain through this entire experience has been minimal.
So, due to the nausea, I was kept overnight...third night. Again, I was disappointed as I had hoped to be back home with the boys by last night. It was definitely necessary, though. It is very easy to become dehydrated following this procedure if one is not careful. That of course, requires a trip back into the hospital to get an IV and fluids. Definitely want to try to avoid that! I am feeling so much better this morning and am anxiously waiting Dr. Diaz's visit and the discharge papers that will soon follow....hopefully!
When I say I came prepared, I am talking about having come to the hospital armed with a couple of books that I could pull out and read through, knowing I had favorite bits and pieces of them highlighted, pages turned down, etc. SO, yesterday when I was feeling a little sorry for myself and beginning to cave to some of those negative thoughts that were crossing my mind, I pulled out one of the books I brought with me to the hospital, "Duty or Delight?" by Tammie Head. This is the last book that my women's life group studied together and I loved it! Close to the beginning of the book, Tammie talks about our "inner GPS," you know...those voices that say negative, doubting, self-destructive things to us. She talked about how she and her husband had given their lovely lady with an Australian accent on their GPS the name Sheila. She went on to ask:
"I wonder if you have a Sheila? I'm not talking about a GPS named Sheila. I'm talking about a Sheila who beckons you away from your identity in Christ. She's obsessed with giving directions. For some of us, she suggests a counterfeit version of God's will for our lives. Soon our heads are spinning with thoughts such as, Nothing is really working or changing anyway. Aren't you sick of this God thing? Look. So-and-so doesn't walk with God and things are wonderful for her. For others, Sheila works in opposite ways. She says, "Wow, you are such a mess. Don't you think it's time you worked a little harder? Got your game on? Look. So-and-so has it all together. Why can't you?"
She goes on to discuss discerning your inner Sheila's voice from what God is saying to you. I LOVE, LOVE what she has to say next:
"We've got to know God ourselves. We must come to a place where we can say, "You know what? That is not my God. The way I'm feeling is not my God. That's not my God's voice going on in my head. That's not God's voice in my heart. That's not the way my God things toward me. That is not what my God would say to me. My God doesn't feel that way about me." Knowing our God intimately helps us sort through and correct all these false thoughts in our heads."
What is your inner Sheila saying to you today? It's time to tell her to "Pipe Down Sheila!" and move forward with the life and work that our heavenly father created us for....remember....you are "fearfully and wonderfully made!" Oooo....goosies!
Have a wonderful day! Hopefully, my next post will be from home....minus the TED hose and IV:)
Peace,
K
So, due to the nausea, I was kept overnight...third night. Again, I was disappointed as I had hoped to be back home with the boys by last night. It was definitely necessary, though. It is very easy to become dehydrated following this procedure if one is not careful. That of course, requires a trip back into the hospital to get an IV and fluids. Definitely want to try to avoid that! I am feeling so much better this morning and am anxiously waiting Dr. Diaz's visit and the discharge papers that will soon follow....hopefully!
When I say I came prepared, I am talking about having come to the hospital armed with a couple of books that I could pull out and read through, knowing I had favorite bits and pieces of them highlighted, pages turned down, etc. SO, yesterday when I was feeling a little sorry for myself and beginning to cave to some of those negative thoughts that were crossing my mind, I pulled out one of the books I brought with me to the hospital, "Duty or Delight?" by Tammie Head. This is the last book that my women's life group studied together and I loved it! Close to the beginning of the book, Tammie talks about our "inner GPS," you know...those voices that say negative, doubting, self-destructive things to us. She talked about how she and her husband had given their lovely lady with an Australian accent on their GPS the name Sheila. She went on to ask:
"I wonder if you have a Sheila? I'm not talking about a GPS named Sheila. I'm talking about a Sheila who beckons you away from your identity in Christ. She's obsessed with giving directions. For some of us, she suggests a counterfeit version of God's will for our lives. Soon our heads are spinning with thoughts such as, Nothing is really working or changing anyway. Aren't you sick of this God thing? Look. So-and-so doesn't walk with God and things are wonderful for her. For others, Sheila works in opposite ways. She says, "Wow, you are such a mess. Don't you think it's time you worked a little harder? Got your game on? Look. So-and-so has it all together. Why can't you?"
She goes on to discuss discerning your inner Sheila's voice from what God is saying to you. I LOVE, LOVE what she has to say next:
"We've got to know God ourselves. We must come to a place where we can say, "You know what? That is not my God. The way I'm feeling is not my God. That's not my God's voice going on in my head. That's not God's voice in my heart. That's not the way my God things toward me. That is not what my God would say to me. My God doesn't feel that way about me." Knowing our God intimately helps us sort through and correct all these false thoughts in our heads."
What is your inner Sheila saying to you today? It's time to tell her to "Pipe Down Sheila!" and move forward with the life and work that our heavenly father created us for....remember....you are "fearfully and wonderfully made!" Oooo....goosies!
Have a wonderful day! Hopefully, my next post will be from home....minus the TED hose and IV:)
Peace,
K
Wednesday, July 18, 2012
Watch them wiggle, See them jiggle....
Does anybody else remember that old Jello commercial? I haven't eaten Jello in years, but it's what's for breakfast (probably lunch and dinner too!) after one has had a Sleeve Gastrectomy. So, Monday went well! Dr. Diaz was pleased and even spoke of sending me home on Tuesday, BUT...no dice. I am pretty wiped from the anesthesia and pain meds. Starting last evening, I began having quite a bit of nausea. I am waiting right now for the nurse to come in and start some meds for it.
I thought today I would give everyone a little more insight into exactly what kind of procedure I had yesterday. It is called "Sleeve Gastrectomy." Here's a visual for you:
"A non-reversible procedure, gastric sleeve surgery is performed under general anesthesia and takes about one to two hours. Afterward you will probably stay in the hospital for one or two days; recovery from gastric sleeve surgery may last a few weeks.
Following surgery, you will need to become re-accustomed to eating solid foods. Normally this starts with two weeks on a liquid-only diet, two weeks of semi-solid, pureed foods and then solids.
As far as weight loss goes, most people who have gastric sleeve surgery lose 50 to 80 percent of their excess body weight over the first six months to one year after surgery. Studies have shown that after the gastric sleeve resection procedure people show improvement in diabetes, high blood pressure, high cholesterol and sleep apnea within one to two years. These improvements are comparable with those seen after other weight loss surgeries."
So, before going in for surgery on Monday, Dr. Diaz came in to speak with me. He was talking about how long the procedure has been around and the success rate of it. He had just been to a conference and said it was all good news about the sleeve. Can't wait to experience those benefits!!
So my stomach has gone from approximately the size of a football to the size of a ping pong ball....everything I "eat" is measured by volume. I can have two ounces of "food" at a time as that's all my new stomach can hold. Right now, I am getting jello, an ounce of juice, and or broth. I never realized how delicious chicken broth could taste!! It is definitely my favorite as everything else tastes so sweet!
Hopefully, I will be able to get home at some point today, but I have been experiencing a lot of nausea, so they just started some meds for that. Pain-wise, I feel good, just a little sore. I was able to take a shower this morning and get my own jammies on...that just makes everything better somehow!!
Peace,
K
I thought today I would give everyone a little more insight into exactly what kind of procedure I had yesterday. It is called "Sleeve Gastrectomy." Here's a visual for you:
Following surgery, you will need to become re-accustomed to eating solid foods. Normally this starts with two weeks on a liquid-only diet, two weeks of semi-solid, pureed foods and then solids.
As far as weight loss goes, most people who have gastric sleeve surgery lose 50 to 80 percent of their excess body weight over the first six months to one year after surgery. Studies have shown that after the gastric sleeve resection procedure people show improvement in diabetes, high blood pressure, high cholesterol and sleep apnea within one to two years. These improvements are comparable with those seen after other weight loss surgeries."
So, before going in for surgery on Monday, Dr. Diaz came in to speak with me. He was talking about how long the procedure has been around and the success rate of it. He had just been to a conference and said it was all good news about the sleeve. Can't wait to experience those benefits!!
So my stomach has gone from approximately the size of a football to the size of a ping pong ball....everything I "eat" is measured by volume. I can have two ounces of "food" at a time as that's all my new stomach can hold. Right now, I am getting jello, an ounce of juice, and or broth. I never realized how delicious chicken broth could taste!! It is definitely my favorite as everything else tastes so sweet!
Hopefully, I will be able to get home at some point today, but I have been experiencing a lot of nausea, so they just started some meds for that. Pain-wise, I feel good, just a little sore. I was able to take a shower this morning and get my own jammies on...that just makes everything better somehow!!
Peace,
K
Sunday, July 15, 2012
Knit Together
I am far from a perfect person....when moved to it, I can cuss like a sailor (just ask the girls who have gathered with me around the breakroom table at the Wiz) and have been known, on occasion, to have just one glass of wine too many. (There are other "not so perfect" things about me, but I won't bore you:) I so admire those women who keep their cool, never show the stress of their lives....knowing not one of us is immune to it....see the good above all else in everyone they meet, and can smile and have something positive to say when things are falling down around them. I so admire those who are blessed with that personality type that, at one point in my life, I spent quite a bit of time questioning why "the big man upstairs" didn't bless me with those same innate qualities. I think this question was just one in a long line of other questions that plagued me about why I wasn't "good enough, popular enough, loved enough, pretty enough, etc." I finally came to a place of resolution through this scripture:
Psalm 139
You have searched me, Lord,
and you know me.
2 You know when I sit and when I rise;
you perceive my thoughts from afar.
3 You discern my going out and my lying down;
you are familiar with all my ways.
4 Before a word is on my tongue
you, Lord, know it completely.
5 You hem me in behind and before,
and you lay your hand upon me.
6 Such knowledge is too wonderful for me,
too lofty for me to attain.
Psalm 139
You have searched me, Lord,
and you know me.
2 You know when I sit and when I rise;
you perceive my thoughts from afar.
3 You discern my going out and my lying down;
you are familiar with all my ways.
4 Before a word is on my tongue
you, Lord, know it completely.
5 You hem me in behind and before,
and you lay your hand upon me.
6 Such knowledge is too wonderful for me,
too lofty for me to attain.
7 Where can I go from your Spirit?
Where can I flee from your presence?
8 If I go up to the heavens, you are there;
if I make my bed in the depths, you are there.
9 If I rise on the wings of the dawn,
if I settle on the far side of the sea,
10 even there your hand will guide me,
your right hand will hold me fast.
11 If I say, “Surely the darkness will hide me
and the light become night around me,”
12 even the darkness will not be dark to you;
the night will shine like the day,
for darkness is as light to you.
Where can I flee from your presence?
8 If I go up to the heavens, you are there;
if I make my bed in the depths, you are there.
9 If I rise on the wings of the dawn,
if I settle on the far side of the sea,
10 even there your hand will guide me,
your right hand will hold me fast.
11 If I say, “Surely the darkness will hide me
and the light become night around me,”
12 even the darkness will not be dark to you;
the night will shine like the day,
for darkness is as light to you.
13 For you created my inmost being;
you knit me together in my mother’s womb.
14 I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
your works are wonderful,
I know that full well.
15 My frame was not hidden from you
when I was made in the secret place,
when I was woven together in the depths of the earth.
16 Your eyes saw my unformed body;
all the days ordained for me were written in your book
before one of them came to be.
17 How precious to me are your thoughts,[a] God!
How vast is the sum of them!
18 Were I to count them,
they would outnumber the grains of sand —
when I awake, I am still with you.
you knit me together in my mother’s womb.
14 I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
your works are wonderful,
I know that full well.
15 My frame was not hidden from you
when I was made in the secret place,
when I was woven together in the depths of the earth.
16 Your eyes saw my unformed body;
all the days ordained for me were written in your book
before one of them came to be.
17 How precious to me are your thoughts,[a] God!
How vast is the sum of them!
18 Were I to count them,
they would outnumber the grains of sand —
when I awake, I am still with you.
19 If only you, God, would slay the wicked!
Away from me, you who are bloodthirsty!
20 They speak of you with evil intent;
your adversaries misuse your name.
21 Do I not hate those who hate you, Lord,
and abhor those who are in rebellion against you?
22 I have nothing but hatred for them;
I count them my enemies.
23 Search me, God, and know my heart;
test me and know my anxious thoughts.
24 See if there is any offensive way in me,
and lead me in the way everlasting.
Away from me, you who are bloodthirsty!
20 They speak of you with evil intent;
your adversaries misuse your name.
21 Do I not hate those who hate you, Lord,
and abhor those who are in rebellion against you?
22 I have nothing but hatred for them;
I count them my enemies.
23 Search me, God, and know my heart;
test me and know my anxious thoughts.
24 See if there is any offensive way in me,
and lead me in the way everlasting.
I have a really difficult time pulling just bits of scripture out and discussing them. I feel like it's easy to get the wrong idea/picture if I don't know all that is surrounding that bit of scripture. ANYWAY, the specific part of Psalm 139 that gives me goosies every time is Psalm 139:13-14:
13 For you created my inmost being;
you knit me together in my mother’s womb.
14 I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
your works are wonderful,
I know that full well.
you knit me together in my mother’s womb.
14 I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
your works are wonderful,
I know that full well.
WOW! If the God of the universe knit me together in my mother's womb and He IS perfect and makes no mistakes, then who am I to question his creation.....me? He knows when I am going to say the wrong thing, do the wrong thing, make the wrong decisions and he loves me anyway!
Now, I know there is a lot more to all of this, but this bit of scripture has been vital to the journey I have been on over the last several years. I have begun the arduous process of accepting myself for the person I was created to be, asking for guidance every moment of every day to make the right choices, and learning to forgive myself when I fail....and I most definitely fail!! We are our own worst critics, aren't we??
Tomorrow, I will begin the process of dealing with a physical problem that is a result of a culmination of life events/issues, including my journey to learning to love and accept myself. At noon tomorrow, I will be checking into the hospital to have bariatric surgery. I am nervous, excited, scared....a mix of emotions; but, mostly I am thankful beyond words to be able to take this next step in my journey. No more hiding. No more self-medicating. No more doubting. It's not going to be easy, but it needs to be!
I am thankful for the encouragement and support I have received thus far....even from those who aren't so sure about all of this:) I will certainly continue to need that support as I learn to deal with life in a whole new way...and for my family as....well, as I learn to deal with life in a whole new way!! Poor guys:) One of those ways, I hope, will be through this blog. It's really quite theraputic to get some of these thoughts/emotions out of my head and down on "paper."
Peace,
K
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