Mountain or Mole Hill??

So, after my 45 minute walk at Pioneer Park this evening, I spied this little hill....it actually looked bigger to me at the time....and I decided to "wog" (walk/jog) up it.  I know it doesn't seem like much, but I was proud when I made it up....twice!....and back down again....through the trees, down the road:)  Just another mountain  on my journey...conquered!  Sheila continues to fade into the background....

As I was contemplating the wog up this little hill, Jason Castro's new song, This is Only a Mountain, flashed through my head.  (http://www.klove.com/music/artists/jason-castro/songs/only-a-mountain-lyrics.aspx)  Looking back at it, I think this little hill might have been more of a mole hill than a moutain, but I am happy with every little victory along the way.

Peace,

K

I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.

-Phillipians 4:13

Like, Totally Awesome!!

The older I get and the more comfortable in my own skin I become, I really enjoy spending time with "me." I mean, I can just really crack myself up! For instance, last night I was driving home from work....I got off a few minutes early in anticipation of taking Austin and some of his friends out for his 16th birthday....when I came to a red light.  Well, the lighting was just right to see those pesky hairs that insist on growing out of my chin....oh come on...you know you have them too!!  Anyway, I decided to take the opportunity to pluck them out.  Then, I decided to deal with that pesky little zit at the base of my nose that had been bothering me ALL DAY. Next up, a little touch of face powder...it was a very long red light!...at this point, I caught the eye of the driver in front of me...a white haired lady driving a pretty red Cadillac. Seems I had an audience, so....I applied my face powder with a little extra bit of drama and flair. I'm sure she didn't even really notice the extra swirls of the the powder brush as I "powdered my nose," but I sure did get a kick out of it....all alone....in my car:)

So, I had my follow up visit with Dr. Diaz and the nutritionist on Thursday, exactly one month since my surgery.  All is well! My official weight loss per their scale since surgery is 37 pounds.  The nutritionist said that they would normally see about a half pound to a pound a day loss during that first month.  Of course, she let me know I would not be losing 37 pounds next month...bummer.  I didn't really expect that I would, but wouldn't that be awesome??  So, she went through how much fluid I'm getting in every day, how much protein I'm getting, and so on.  She asked if I had any bad taste in my mouth, "YES! What is that??" Ketosis.  Here is some info I found on Ketosis:

A lot of people are confused by the term "ketosis." You may read that it is a "dangerous state" for the body, and it does sound abnormal to be "in ketosis." But ketosis merely means that our bodies are using fat for energy. Ketones (also called ketone bodies) are molecules generated during fat metabolism, whether from the fat in the guacamole you just ate or fat you were carrying around your middle. When our bodies are breaking down fat for energy, most of the it gets converted more or less directly to ATP. (Remember high school biology? This is the "energy molecule.") But ketones are also produced as part of the process.

When people eat less carbohydrate, their bodies turn to fat for energy, so it makes sense that more ketones are generated. Some of those ketones (acetoacetate and ß-hydroxybutyrate) are used for energy; the heart muscle and kidneys, for example, prefer ketones to glucose. Most cells, including the brain cells, are able to use ketones for at least part of their energy. But there is one type of ketone molecule, called acetone, that cannot be used and is excreted as waste, mostly in the urine and breath (sometimes causing a distinct breath odor). aha! That's what I have!

There is an assumption that if a body is burning a lot of fat for energy, it must not be getting "enough" glucose. However, there is no indication, from studying people on reduced carbohydrate diets, that this is the case (though there is usually a short period of adjustment -- less than a week, in most cases). Although it's true that our bodies can't break fat down into glucose (though, interestingly, they easily use glucose to make fat), our bodies can convert some of the protein we eat into glucose. Indeed, this works well for people who don't tolerate a lot of sugar, because this conversion happens slowly so it doesn't spike blood glucose.

A dangerous condition called ketoacidosis can develop in those with type 1 diabetes, and it is sometimes confused with normal ketosis. The body usually avoids this state by producing insulin, but people with type 1 diabetes are unable to produce insulin. Even most people with type 2 diabetes who inject insulin usually produce enough insulin of their own to prevent ketoacidosis.

Isn't that a kick in the pants?? Our bodies can't break fat down into glucose, but they can easily use glucose to make fat? What a rip off!! I am a little more confused after reading this, however, as the answer to ketosis per my nutritionist is to drink 8oz of pure fruit juice three times a day.  Think I will need to check into this just a bit more. If it's not dangerous, then maybe I don't need all of that juice.  But then, do I really want that awful taste in my mouth and God only knows what that must smell like to other people......So beware, if you are going to diet and exercise, thus burning fat for fuel, you are going to stink to high heaven!!  So motivating, isn't it?

Well, I may be spreading out reporting on my weigh in days.  The way the nutritionist explained it to me, I will no longer see daily changes in my weight, rather I will notice my weight staying the same (or even going up...NO!) day after day. She said that I will then suddenly notice that I have dropped, like, five pounds...yay! (Yes, "like" five pounds, I'm a child of the 80s!)  I will keep you posted.  Still haven't missed a day of walking, but my walks on the days that I work do tend to be significantly shorter.  Dr. Diaz released me to go back to work (its a good thing:) and to go to the gym.  He said, "Not only can you go to the gym, you SHOULD be going to the gym." Watch out flabby hangy down upper arm stuff!!

Alright, heading back out to watch the littlest man play football.  Enjoy your weekend!

Peace,

K

Short and Sweet

Hey All!
Just as I promised last night, this is going to be SHORT!  Another busy day at the Wiz and my body is KILLING me...this fibromyalgia is kicking my rear.  Please pray that it settles down so that I can get on with enjoying my family, my work, and all that I have been blessed with. Thanks!

I am happy to say that I continue to walk every day....no small feat on days like today...thanks to Big D for taking one for the team and heading out to walk with me late in the evenings. Love you, D!:)

So, it was weigh in day this morning....I am officially down 35 pounds.  My surgery was four weeks ago today.  I have to admit that I was a tad bit disappointed....I was hoping for another ten, but I have been giving myself a pep talk about it all day and tried to punch that Sheila in the kisser:)

I have my follow up appointment with Dr. Diaz on Thursday and also meet with the dietician at that time.  Maybe I can hit the 40 pound mark by then.  I will keep you all posted.

Thanks again for reading and for all of your support and kind words.  It really does make this thing a heck of a lot easier!

Blessings and peace,
K

Pruning Blade

Whew!! What a week! I can't believe an entire week has passsed since I last "blogged."  I thought about just waiting to blog tomorrow, but I work tomorrow and Tuesday, so my post tomorrow will be short.

I headed back to last Monday and worked Monday, Thursday, and Friday and I'm telling you, it kicked my butt!!  I am so thankful for the women I work with! Without them, I'm not sure I could have survived three crazy days at the Wiz!!  Different people at different times checked on me...."How are you feeling?" "Have you eaten?" "You doing okay?" and my favorite..from Jenn Fenner, "Do you want me to bring your water down to you?"  That one brought tears to my eyes!  I'm sure that sounds funny, but I had been pushing with my sweet patient for nearly two hours and my mouth was like cotton!!  Kiss, kiss Jenn:)

Anyway, things went really well at work as far as eating and drinking.  I managed to get in all of my meals, protein drinks, and food.  Yay!  I was really concerned about how all of that would go, but it all worked out really well.  I would say my biggest challenge at this point is getting all of my dang vitamins and meds in.  I am supposed to take a multivitamin three times a day and calcium citrate three times a day....so biggie other than the two cannot be taken within three hours of each other.  Then there's the antacid (need this one to settle down those tummy juices!), my Synthroid (have to have that thanks to that thyroid cancer way back when:), Singular for asthma, Zyrtec for allergies, and my "happy pill."   The other kicker is that I have to wait ten minutes in between each "pill" before I take the next one.  I feel like I'm spending my days drinking protein shakes and taking meds/vitamins!  I had my annual exam with my primary care doc this week and she was trying to put me on meds for my fibromyalgia....no more meds!....was basically my response.

So, yesterday, Davison had a football game and Austin had a soccer match.  After the games, we went to the grocery and when we got home, I sat down on the couch and fell fast asleep....just like Snow White--ha!  Did Snow White snore??  Anyway, I slept, and slept, and slept until my bladder was about to burst! FOUR HOURS later, I finally woke up.  WOW!  That felt good!  A lot happens at our house in a four hour span and I slept right through it all.

Dennis and I had a day today...our tree in the front yard was hit pretty hard by the wind storm that came through a week or so ago.  The guys came out to look at it for us today and, well, it wasn't good.  We sat and watched as they pruned our tree down to pretty much nothing! I think we were sitting there thinking about the thirteen years of "growth" that tree (and our family!) has been through.  Now it's just a 25 foot tree with, well basically no branches until you get to the tippy top.  Funny the things that can make you nostalgic.  I can tell you one thing, we were left with a pretty funny looking tree at the end of the day!  However, they reassured us that it would be nice and full again within about two years.

As I write this, I am reminded of a story told by Jason Gray on his CD that I was listening to yesterday.   Jason talks about how vines are pruned on vineyards.  He speaks of a friend who visited a vineyard and was told that they go out in the spring and cut off the first fruit and throw it away.  He explained that when you go out in the spring and cut off the first fruit, the fruit that grows back is hardier, bolder, and more flavorful, it's the good stuff.  Jesus says this in the gospel of John:

“I am the true vine, and My Father is the vinedresser. ² Every branch in Me that does not bear fruit He takes away;^[a] and every branch that bears fruit He prunes, that it may bear more fruit. ³ You are already clean because of the word which I have spoken to you. ⁴ Abide in Me, and I in you. As the branch cannot bear fruit of itself, unless it abides in the vine, neither can you, unless you abide in Me.
⁵ “I am the vine, you are the branches. He who abides in Me, and I in him, bears much fruit; for without Me you can do nothing. ⁶ If anyone does not abide in Me, he is cast out as a branch and is withered; and they gather them and throw them into the fire, and they are burned. ⁷ If you abide in Me, and My words abide in you, you will^[b] ask what you desire, and it shall be done for you. ⁸ By this My Father is glorified, that you bear much fruit; so you will be My disciples. -John 15

Following this story about the vineyard, Jason sings the song,"Why You Brought Me Here."  The lyrics go like this:

I know I’ll get an answer that I won’t understand
If I ask that Your intentions be made clear
I know Your plans are greater and in that greater plan
Lie the reasons why You brought me hereThis story would be different if it were only mine to write
There are secrets I would never volunteerBut secrets lose their power when they have no place to hideMaybe that is why You brought me here
Oh, I hope You know what You’re doing; You brought me here 
It’s a mess of my own making, I fully realizeAnd the consequences shake my heart with fearBut if was happy with the way things were then I’d put up a fightGuess I’m grateful that You brought me here
Oh, all I see are the ruins but oh, as the smoke starts to clearHey, I trust You know what You’re doing, You brought me here
If it’s hard to raise a white flag then it’s harder to believeThat surrendering is worth the sacrificeCause the very thing I always feared would be the death of meWas a way to come alive
And it hurts to be so broken but it’s bearable somehowAs the grounds to prove I’m worthy disappearI always heard You love me and I think I know it nowIt’s the reason why You brought me hereOh, Love’s the reason why You brought me here.

If you get a chance to check out "Acoustic Storytime with Jason Gray," please do!  He's amazing and I love his interpretation of this story about the vineyard and this scripture.  Such a good reminder that everything that I have in my life that is not bearing fruit for Christ should be looked at closely and "pruned" away and that I am brought to these situations in my life because I am loved and being "shaped" and "pruned" to get to the good stuff that is in me....remember?? I was knit together in my mother's womb!!

I know that every step of this journey that I'm on holds a lesson for me and I am working very hard at paying attention to what those lessons are.  I am sure I am missing some along the way, but my prayer is that I have my heart and mind open to those areas of my life that need pruning and then that I allow Him to prune away....even if I think the result looks a little funny some times.

Have a great week!
Peace,
K

Weigh In Day #2!!

Hellerrrr!! What a day! I headed back to the ol' job today and, I'm not gonna' lie, it was rough!  I wasn't overly busy, but my body was SCREAMING at me!! I'm currently having a flare-up of my fribromyalgia and it is kicking my butt, so this twelve and a half hours of work was a day of sheer will to get through it....and I did. Of course, participating in bringing two new little lives into the world sure did help a lot:)

On the very bright side, because I wasn't completely swamped today, I managed to keep on the water intake and ended up getting about 50 ounces in while I was at work...yay!  That was truly my biggest concern with getting back at it.  There are days when we are pushing it so hard that we don't even get a trip to the bathroom, but who needs it when you haven't had anything to drink!!  It's so important to stay hydrated as becoming dehydrated will only intensify the nausea and then a vicious cycle ensues.  I also managed to have a delightful lunch of cod and get a protein drink down while there.  Success!

The girls at work were all very sweet and encouraging today, too.  I even got a text from Andrea, who wasn't working today, welcoming me back and wishing me a good day.  It's nice to hear that the girls can see a difference in me, physically, when I'm not quite seeing it yet myself.  Have I mentioned how much I LOVE the girls I work with???  Kisses:)

Well, when I got home, I didn't think there was any way in the world I was going to take my daily walk....my feet hurt, my back was killing me, and I haven't even mentioned the pain of that darn sciatic nerve, yet!!  I came in the house, had a little salmon with cheese on it (my strange cravings are starting to make me feel like a pregnant woman!), chatted with Davison, and relaxed in Den's recliner.  Oh how it was sucking me in!!  Then Sheila started in with her bull, "I knew you couldn't do it."  "I knew you weren't going to keep up with the walking." "I knew you were going to fail!"  How dare she!!  I got up, got my shoes on, and grabbed my iPod.

That's right, I made it out for my walk! YAY! I changed up the music a little tonight and put some Jason Castro on.  Does anybody remember him?  He is that cutie pie young enough to be my son, dreadlock wearing, young man from American Idol a couple of seasons ago.  I just love him!  Just when I was about to quit short of my forty minute goal, my favorite song that he does came on...Hallelujah...that's the name of the song, "Hallelujah."  So, I headed back down my street....away from our house, and got my forty minutes in.  Thanks JC!!:)  By the way, I also really like "Travelin Through" (a Dolly Parton remake!), "Over the Rainbow," and "Who I Really Am."  He has a new single coming out tomorrow....check it out.

Okay, okay! It's Monday and weigh in day.  I was really pleased to meet my goal this morning....I really wanted to lose a certain amount of weight before heading back to work and I did it!  It's amazing what you can do when your stomach is the size of a large egg:)  I am now officially down thirty pounds!  I wish I could say that I am going to stay off of the scale until next Monday, but I am just not there yet....sorry, Katie:(  I appreciate Katie's encouragement to stay off the scale and quit focusing on the weight.  It is a GOAL, but I just know that I am not there yet...I'm already thinking about getting back on it in the morning.  I guess that's progress though....not thinking about weighing again tonight.

Have a blessed week, everybody.  My kiddos head back to school tomorrow.  I will officially have a Junior (YIKES!) and a fourth grader.  Enjoy those sweet, sweet babies...they grow up SO fast.

Peace,
K

Top Ten List

Well, Monday is the big day....I go back to work! I am actually more than ready.  I feel great...no twinges of pain for several days now and I have worked my way up to 40 to 45 minute walks every day.  We have managed to stay really busy this week, so I thought I would write down my "Top Ten Things I have Learned About Myself Since My Surgery" List (some of them I already "knew," but have been reminded of since surgery and being home for the last three week:)

1. I do not enjoy being nauseous, at all! Since my surgery, I have seemed to stay a tad bit nauseous.  It's annoying.

2. I love my children, but they live to annoy one another and argue with each other. When Davison was born six years after Austin, I prayed they would somehow grow to know and love each other despite the many years between them. I can remember someone telling me that they would never be close.....well, they know each other, I think they love each other, and I'm hoping that some of the behaviors they exhibit toward one other indicates some strange male form of being close.

3. I do not consider two ounces of sugar free jello or pudding a meal.  I do not even like jello and pudding can be a nice treat, but not one I would normally choose to indulge in.  Neither one of these items contains any nutritional value whatsoever and I choose not to consider eating a bit of either one of these items "a meal."

4. I can't drink juice.  Well, I CAN drink juice.....it's on my list of things I can drink between "meals," but I have learned it's just not a good idea for me to do so.  Some of you have asked me about "dumping syndrome"....well, I think I've experienced this lovely syndrome after indulging in some delicious cranberry or apple juice.  It will be strictly water and protein drinks at work.  You're welcome:)

5. Dennis and I need new friends.  When we first moved into the house where we currently live, we made friends with everyone on our street, eventually becoming close friends with several couples in our neighborhood who had children of similar ages.  We spent lots of time with these friends and it seemed we always had something to do.  This group of friends has "dispersed" and I am recognizing that we just don't really have much to do as a family with other families. *sigh*

6. Some of the things I used to LOVE to eat, I no longer have a craving for.  If you know me at all, you know I LOVE sweets!!  Oh, and I did not discriminate....cake, cookies, ice cream....you name it, I would join right in on some yummy dessert....now, it just doesn't really sound good.  I sure hope this effect of surgery lasts!

7. I can still cook!  I really love to cook and bake.  One of my biggest concerns before surgery was that I would no longer enjoy/be able to cook for my family.  Well, I can!  It started with a grilled cheese sandwich for Davison and has moved on from there with spaghetti sauce, sloppy joes, and pulled pork.  No baking yet, but I'm sure that will come at least by Davison's birthday:)

8. My house needs spruced up.  Over the last two or three years, I just haven't felt well.  I think the fibromyalgia really got me down and the weight kept coming on and I just checked out for awhile.  Well, my home has suffered.  Paint on the walls needs touched up and the whole place needs a good cleaning!  There are just little projects here and there that need to be caught up.  Looks like we will be busy this fall:)

9. I love to walk!  There was a time in my life that I woke every every morning before Dennis went to work to walk.  At that time, I had a friend (hi Jacki!:) who got up with me and walked....we walked rain, cold, you name it.  Knowing Jacki was going to be waiting on me to walk got me up out of the bed to do so.  Well, Jacki moved on to running and eventually left the neighborhood and I just didn't keep getting up to walk by myself.  Now that I am back at it, I really love it!  I am looking forward to getting back to the gym and the eliptical....I love that machine!  I am also patiently waiting for those arm exercises my brother promised to send me....trying to avoid the saggy arm skin.

10. My endurance is not so good.  While I'm ready to get back to work to get into a more normal routine and out of the house more, I'm a little concerned about making it through those twelve and a half hour shifts!  Those 40 minute walks in the heat kick my butt and I'm ready to hit the hay by about 8pm.....I'm a little worried about how things are going to go once I'm back at work.  I really don't want to have to sleep away my days off to recover, but I guess that just may be the case for awhile.

Peace,
K